For My Family

I'm gonna be famous. that's a fact not a dream. but not now cuz i'm in a place far from any company that will help me become famouse. Anyhow, when I'm famous, this is what I'm gonna do:

• Love- I will get a house for her, a driver (of course this comes with a car. I'm thinking a BMW something), and a (as my mom termed it) "yaya".
• Mom- I'll probably let her share the house with Love cuz neither of them want to be alone most of the time. then I'll buy her that tangerine Getz she wants so much. but then again she's getting it this year so I'll just probably customize it.
• Papa-I'll help him fix up the house in Palawan, I'll buy him a 4X4 car so he can go off road
• Kuya-I'll buy him a Lambourgini Diablo (whatever colour he wants)
• Ate Teena- I'll bring her on a shopping spree in Paris
• Ate-I'll get her a house by the seashore that has a huge library and bring her on the same shopping spree in France
• Kuya Gil-I'll get him the latest in gaming technology and probably the latest battle games
• Dite-Help her build up her own gym and buy her a Rav4...if she'd still want one
• Kuya Boggie-Technically, he isn't my brother but he's treated me like a sister for so long i really owe him. I'll give him the latest phone and a BMW car.

*All of these people mentioned above I'll bring on a cruise around the world. They deserve it because they're my one and only family. Oh, and I'm also bringing Tanxia, Maico, Ate Wendy, Ate Randee, Kuya Gabe....;)

God answers prayers even at 2:00am

Last night (or should I say morning?), while I was transferring my notes from the sessions to another notebook, my insomniac of a friend Joan Camille Espiritu suddenly texted me. I don't know how but we started talking about how God showed me how special I was to him.

Well, eversince War Week when they told us that we are all leaders, I've been praying for God to use me to lead my friends to him. I tried to make it unobvious but I admit, I've been really scared of preaching the Gospel to my friends because I really hate being rejected.

Anyhow, after we exchanged quite a few messages, she suddenly texts me "Buti ka pa. Natanggap mo na si Lord sa puso mo. Ako nahihirapan." (You're lucky cuz you have already accepted the Lord in your heart. I'm having a hard time.)

I prayed thanks to the Lord cuz he was already giving me a chance to reach out to my closest friend.

I texted her back and asked her exactly why she was having a hard time.
She texted me back and said it was because she was scared to. She always did something wrong and thought that God would just get sick of her. I prayed another huge thanks because at War Week they kept stressing on the fact that God doesn't dwell on the past and that he forgives us time and time again.

I told her exactly what we were told during War Week. She didn't reply for awhile. I'm not sure exactly what went through her mind at that time or if she's still thinking about it but either way, it's a start...and an answer to my prayer.

things I realized

if you noticed the time and dates of this and the two other previous posts, you would have noticed that they form some kind of trilogy of some sort; that I have purposely made. After the war week theme I wanted to emphasize the love God has shown me and now I will let it be known the things I have come to realize those nights during and after war week.

1. the first thing I'd like to mention was what I realized while I was talking to Da Mom about War Week and all the other Church activities. I realized that if it weren't for the break-up (that pulled me closer to God in some way and helped me mature greatly), I wouldn't have even wanted to go to War Week.
2. I already mentioned it before, but I realized that God just wanted me to know that I had a special place in his heart because of the way he ended my first night at War Week. I mean, come on, did you even know that there were wild owls here in the Philippines? I thought that that was not possible but he showed me how wonderful His creation is by showing me that owl. it may seem lame but I don't care. It meant a lot to me.
3. I purposely mentioned that agreement I had with the Lord that night when I looked up at the sky to look for my star. Actually, that time when I saw the owl, I went away from the group cuz I needed my alone time with God (something i have learned to be very enjoyable). I was actually talking to Him about the guy I like now. I was telling him that it felt odd because it seemed a bit too soon for me to be liking a guy so soon after a break up. All of a sudden he told me to look up. You know it's weird because I usually don't wear my eye glasses at night but this night I just suddenly felt the urge to wear my nerdy glasses. Anyhow, when I looked up, guess what I saw first. That's right I saw my star. But this time it was clear. I asked Da Mom if it meant anything because it seemed rather coincidential and she said "if you added a meaning to that before it probably does." I'm not saying that the guy I really like now is the one because that can still change but if it isn't him, I'm confident that the guy I'm supposed to be with was present at that camp.
4. God meant for me to realize all those things and to make that night special because he urged me to have clear vision by wearing my glasses.
5. He worked through something that hurt for the short run so that I can be happy in the long run.
6. God works in ways you would never really expect.
7. God loves unconditionally.
8. I should give my all to God, not being a back slider to glorify his name and to bring greatness to Him.
9. He has great plans for me and my life.
10. He will always be there no matter how much we've sinned and caused Him pain. He comforted me even if He knew that the pain I felt I brought to myself through disobedience.

Why God loves me so much I will never know.

So everyone knows I broke up with Jefferson Taguba Uy (except maybe his parents...). I didn't want to and really tried to hold on but then something inside me just knew it was the right thing to do. I felt a lot for him and it hurt when I ended things but somehow, I felt better.
I did get really hurt though after we were through because I found out that he had been cheating on me with the person who was supposed to be my best friend. I felt betrayed.
I hated him. I hated her. I hated them. I hated the world altogether. I cried a lot and my eyes felt like they were welded shut at times but surprisingly, I didn't hate God. Now at that time, I must I admit, I didn't really have the strongest relationship with him and could have easily hated Him, but something kept me from doing that; somewhere inside, I knew I didn't have the right to be mad at him.
It took me around two weeks after the break-up to remember, but I did one night, when I was talking to my guy best friend in the dorm, Louis Anthony Sibayan (he was one of the many shoulders I had to cry on) .

One night, when I was walking around by the dorm areas in Bayombong with my friend and room mate Jenn Acay, I looked up at the sky. It was really cloudy and we could barely see any stars. It was as if there was this dark milky sheet across the sky, covering all the stars. when i looked up, I made this silent prayer. Lord, if I see my star tonight, you'll let me fall in love with the guy I'm supposed to be with the rest of my life in the next two years.
After that the clouds slowly began to part but after half an hour, I still couldn't find my star (which is the center of Orion's belt). We began to head home. okay, Lord I get it. I have to wait a little longer than I want to. Suddenly I feel something that tells me to look up and turn around. Now before I continue, I must tell you that I wasn't wearing my glasses that night and that I can only make out my star when it is really clear. Anyhow, I turned around and saw these two clouds drift apart, revealing my star. I closed my eyes, Thank you, Lord.
I was really shocked that God said yes to that agreement because two years would only make me sixteen, but either way he showed me that sign even if I was okay if He said no. Then I heard a voice inside me speak. okay, but it's not Jeff.
I didn't really listen to that voice and as you all know, I still answered him. So when I was at the peak of feeling so betrayed, I knew I couldn't be mad at God because that was my punishment.
However, when I couldn't be comforted by anyone and no one could understand me, I ran to the Lord and he was there, patiently waiting for me to cry out to him. He was the only one who was able to say "it's okay."
He still accepted me and I have no idea why he still loved me and comforted me after such disobedience. Everyday of my life I realize that I don't deserve the amount of love God showers me with all the time; I'm not worthy of being blessed by Him. His perfection is way to great for Him to love me and yet....
Why God loves me so much I will never know.

WAR WEEK

war week. the first annual youth retreat for Victory Christian Fellowship Fort Bonifacio. It was a three-day thing in Caliraya that involved activities (a lot of activities) and "sessions" (basically these...let's say lectures about Christianity...more on that later).

DAY 1

• 7:00-I wake up and realize, "oh no! I woke up late! I'm supposed to be at the Fort by now!"
• 8:00-Am sitting happily (or lonely....hmmm...) on the bus. No one was beside me at the time and I was trying to keep myself entertained (as not to feel too out of place) by texting my friends back in Nueva Vizcaya.
• 8:30-"may katabi ka ba?" I hear a voice ask. I turn to look at where the voice came from and definitely didn't recognize the face. Again the stranger - a guy who was wearing a yellow bonnet and had nice eyes (hehehe) - asked the question. I shook my head. "Oh okay, what's your name?" I gave him my name. "Ro-Ann." He introduced me to this girl named Alissa. Hmm...maybe I will manage to make friends.... I text my mom that I see a cute guy. However, even if we were supposed to leave half an hour earlier, we are still at the Fort waiting for a late comer (who later becomes my seatmate in the bus).
• 9:00- we stop at that huge Petron station that has all these restaurants for a quick, 15-minute break. Mickey (i have no idea as to how to spell her name....) and i go to the convenience store there but i figure out i gotta pee. I go to the bathroom and much to my horror, there was NO FLUSH! I couldn't hold it in any longer and so i decided to just put up with it.
• 11:30- we finally get to Caliraya and I realize something: I'm the only girl who managed to pack everything into ONE bag. I meet my room mates, Zephanie, Justine, Luey, and Eiya (pronounced as Iya) and we make our way to B-4, our room.
• 12:00-Lunch Time! The food was okay (although right now i can't remember what it was..except the brownies) but the dining hall was quiet...nobody was talking...nobody really knew their companions...yet.
• 2:00-we are called to the hall for our orientation and group assignments.We, the 93 present individuals were then divided into four groups and were given a task to name our groups. our beautiful minds came up with the following names: Bonakids (Keanu's group), Team Bang (read it in a hard, provincial manner...that's how we got it. My group obviously), The Chosen Ones (this was my crushe's team), and Gambate
• 3:00-Fort's Amazing Race begins. We are challenged to do things like slide down the mud slide (really fun but you do get mud until your underpants) and eat weird stuff (okay, so it wasn't that weird...at least not all...I was stuck with the worst though; Nagaraya in a tub of condensed milk)
• 6:00-Dinner Time! Okay, so I don't remember much of the dinner either. By this time I already know my room mates a little better.
• 7:00-Our first session begins. After a loud and energetic praise and worship thing, we start to talk about what being a real Christian is. I really got affected by this one coz I was like, "That's me he's talking about!". I gave my ENTIRE life to the service of God thereafter.
• 11:00-We all head off to the snack bar to have fun and all that. I needed my alone time with God so I walked a little farther. While I was talking to God while star gazing, a huge bird flew in front of me. I took a closer look at it and guess what, I found out that it was an owl! A real owl...in the wild! Like what Jose (another camper) said, God made sure my night ended with God.

DAY 2

• 7:00-I roll out of bed and take a quick shower so that I can still make breakfast (french bread with syrup, omelette, and this orange-coloured juice that doesn't taste anything close to orange juice)
• 9:00-second session! we were taught how to look at who we really were in Christ.
• 12:00-Lunch Time! although again, i forgot what was it they served...hehe...the dessert was banana bread with chocolate fudge though
• 1:00-I buy a book called UNPLUGGED FOR GIRLS at the PCBS store there for Php299.00 and follow Leuy to the roof top where I meet Joash and later on fall asleep
• 4:00-we head of to the hall where we plan for this skit we have to present to the other groups. I end up with the role of Bona Kid's (Adrian's) spouse who is interviewed at the Ofrah Winprey show (a spoof of Oprah Winfrey's show) because Bona Kid is the Chosen One of Japan and is also known as the Gambate. See how we mocked them in a friendly manner?
• 6:00-session numbah three! we have a cool guest speaker who talks to us about how he was so scared to tell others about his faith and how he was used by God to rebuke a demon possessing a fellow schoolmate and soon after the skits begin. Bonakids did this chanting, The Chosen Ones did this dance showdown thing and one guy did this breakdancing number, Gambate did this skit about parent-children relationships, and we did the Ofrah Winprey Show!
• 9:30-Bonfire time! How fun it is to watch the people.
• 11:00-Game time once more! We played the boat is sinking and guess what, I got grouped with my crush!and he even sat beside me. hehehe.
• 1:00-The fire sadly dies but that doesn't dampen our playful mood too much. We go to the snack bar to continue.

DAY 3

• 7:00-Roll out of bed again and get ready for breakfast
• 9:00-get ready for the final (boohoo) session. I get baptised with the Holy Spirit and feel like a totally different creation.
• 11:00-we are given time to pack up and get ready to leave before lunch.
• 12:00-Lunch time again. Again don't ask what we had for lunch cuz i won't remember...but the dessert (ok, so I pretty much only put tabs on the dessert) was brownies with icing.
• 2:00-good bye Caliraya! Will miss ya!

After War Week I felt like a totally different person. Now I feel so much closer to God and I can feel the Spirit working through me in different ways. From music choices to romantic relationships, everything I see comes from a different perspective! Praise God! Cuz he deserves it!

The pains of joining sciawit

Sciawit. The most anticipated activity during our annual Fusion Science Fair. (although i don't agree with the term "fair" because what happens during Fusion seems to be far from what we usually define as a fair. Besides, fair's are usually filled with booths and displays, but fusion has only three booths - chow king, mister donut, and the recently added wedding booth- and one display that seems to have been thrown together in five minutes).

Anyway, if you've noticed, sciawit comes from three different words, one english (science) and two filipino (sayaw and awit).

What happens is teams are supposed to make jingles about the current Fusion theme and at the same time create interesting dance moves. Sounds easy right? Wrong. The preparation for this is far from easy. what with 35 participants and all.

To join, you have to tell the teachers who are the team leaders of your group that you are interested in joining, but you aren't always accepted.

Anyhow, I was accepted and for the first time since i entered pisay, i was actually willing to be active in a school event.

The first two days of practice were pretty boring because all we did was practice the songs and plan for the costume (the costume, i might add, that i spent close to 500 on), but after that they became more interesting and equally tiring.

We had to learn how to perform the dance steps all together and how to do them while moving into different formations. Learning how to do the first was already a pain and having to do that with the the latter.....

After the first night, six girls were picked out of the main group because they were assigned a more difficult task: to dance with the ribbon like how gymnasts do.

I don't know if i should say unfortunately or luckily but either way i was picked. We spent longer hours practicing with the ribbons that at first, didn't want to cooperate because they always ended up tangled up together and/or around us. It took awhile during the start of our practices but after the first night practicing with the ribbons(yup, that's right, we practiced until night and we usually ended at around 10:00), we got used to it.

I was really happy that we were beginning to get somewhere..that is, until the next day came because at that time, i could nolonger even scratch my back without feeling pain shooting up and down my arms. However, i do admit that we "ribbon bearers" weren't the only ones suffering; Jeff joined too and he was one of the lifters and I don't think he'll be forgetting his role anytime soon because due to the lifting, his shoulders are presently covered in wounds and bruises (blame the guy he had to lift because he refused to take of his shoes).

The final night of practice was the most difficult becuase the teachers were coming down on us really hard, and if that wasn't enough, we participants were beginning to become impatient with each other (that includes Jeff and me. we were constanly fighting during the final days of practice but we're okay now).

During the day itself, all participants were required to be in school at 5:30 to 6:00. At that time I was really thankful that Jeff was also participating because i knew that I wouldn't have to leave the boarding house alone at that time.

When we got there, we were all challenged by a number of problems. First of all, we had to put the boys' hair up mohawk-like, in spikes, or in this other hair do that at took at least 30 minutes. I was one of the assigned hair-dressers so I knew how hard it was to fix the hair of the guys with long hair or hair that was too short. So what was the problem? We were running out of gel.

Next, all of us had to have this silver make-up applied on half of our face. My friend Accever was one of the first to have the make-up applied, but after a few minutes the bottom of her eyes began to swell; she didn't know she was allergic to make-up.

Last, one of the most important members of the group was running late...by saying late i mean late for even the performance.

Surprisingly, the perfrormance went well and we all realized that we'd actually miss practicing. We didn't come out first but it was okay. I guess it was the experience that mattered the most to us (and i guess...the plus points! haha!)

Life in MGM Pension House and PSHS

4:15
wake up from deep sleep (and a nice dream) due to body clock set for life in Basa, and then go back to sleep.

5:00
wake up again because you hear Jenn's cell phone alarm (which you sometimes wish you could throw into the wall)

5:10

wake up again to Jenn's alarm because she pressed the "snooze" button

tell her that you'll be the next after her in the bathroom

5:30
get up and get ready for your turn in the bathroom
fold blankets

5:45
realize that you don't have a clean blouse and go up to the third floor to search for your blouse

5:50
rush as much home work as possible before bath time
cram as many facts about China as you can for test in Social Science 2

6:00
take a bath

6:15
dress up (and that includes accessories and cologne) for school
realize you don't have socks and go up to the third floor to search for a clean pair of white socks

6:20
go back to room
double check contents of school bag (prepared the night before)
start looking for your misplaced ID

6:30 (on good days)
eat breakfast (although the breakfast on "good days" is always cornbeef)

6:45
rush and cram as much school work as possible

or

play the guitar until gerozel is also ready for school

7:00
go to school

7:05
greet classmates (who you get along with)
copy GA's notes in soc sci

7:20
go out into hallway and talk with Nina about Jeff and her search for a crush

7:30
bell rings
test in soc sci
bash your head in with all the "challenging" questions (although it's more like brain cell murder)

8:20
go through next class while taking down notes and doodling on back pages of notebook

9:10
snack time
go to canteen with JC or GA or Lala

9:30
english class with Ma'am Ricci
she makes it free time and interrogates you with questions concerning your crush

10:20
physics class
try to make ends meet with the vectors and the tip to tail method
pretend you make ends meet with the vectors and the tip to tail method

11:10
biology class
draw all the life cycles so that Ma'am CJ thinks you are productive even when you're not listening

12:00
lunch break
get into a tricycle with friends

12:15
get food tray on kitchen counter
get seat beside gerozel and jenn (on good days)
buy tropicana

12:25
brush teeth
tie hair because it is now dry (but use leave on conditioner as gel)
play guitar until gerozel is ready for school

1:00
filipino
nod and act like you understand
say over and over again (but in your head) :"I see your lips moving but all i hear is blah, blah, blah!"
doodle some more

1:50
chemistry
count how many times sir gaudy runs hand through hair (he really has hair that follows his movements)
get the average of times with the your tally marks, GA's tally marks, JC's tally marks, Sam's tally marks, Deg's tally marks....let's just say the tally marks of everyone in class

2:40
break
take a ten minute nap

2:50
electronics
try to memorize what sir jes just said about valence electrons (how many does an insulator have again?)

3:40
library
go home; not the library

4:00
you didn't go home but stayed with your friends
walk home with nina, who decides to leave you because jeff is also walking with the two of you

4:15
log in at guard post of mgm, of course at the same time with jeff

4:20
change into pambahay
go to third floor and stare into the sky (it may look like staring but it's actually really your alone time with God)

6:00
eat dinner

7:00
prepare school bag for tomorrow

7:15
do home work (or at least try to)

8:30
wash face
comb hair
brush teeth

8:45
talk to Gerozel, Jenn, and Erika about nothing in particular

9:00
get biology or chemistry note book so that Louisse, who is waiting for you by the door, can copy notes...and who will shortly be followed by Jeff who's too shy to ask for the notebook

9:30
sleep

the time of our lives

When you're a kid...
Outlook on life: You can be anything! I am invincible (from a doctor to Batman)
Fashion sense: What mom makes you wear
Opinion on love: That's gross
Opinion on boys: They're all stupid
Opinion on school: I can't wait!

When you're a teen...
Outlook on life:I can rule the world because I am a god!
Fashion sense:

• If you're a girly-girl: whatever is in
• if you're a sporty girl: whatever i can move around in
• if you're a non-conformist: "What don't girly-girls wear?"...

Opinion on love: is that when your stomach and heart do weird gymnastic moves whenever ysee that special someone?

Opinion on boys: They're all stupid

Opinion on school: I can't wait to get out

When you're an adult...

Outlook on life: I can become (fill in this space) because i took this course.

Fashion sense: As long as it's clean

Opinion on love: it's hard to explain

Opinion on boys: They're all stupid

Opinion on school: I wish i could go back....

at this age...

I'm only 14 years old, and yet, I have managed to do and experience much (ot at least that's my opinion). But not everything is my experience.

1. First of all there is the fact that I have to study three science subjects even if I'm just a sophomore, being a scholar and all that
2. Next came the stalker part, although that wasn't too pleasant
3. I've participated in a really fun amazing-race-like thing with two people I didn't really talk to before then
4. I might've managed to close down a boarding house (long story)
5. I got a kid pulled out of school by his parents (yup it was the stalker dude)
6. I managed to become one of the "councelors" whenever one of my friends would have problems with their...counterpart(?)
7. I actually talked to my crush (and hopefully he doesn't know he's my crush) because my friend (who also likes him but doesn't know I do too) wanted me to ask him questions for her
8. I've decided that getting pressured into having a boyfriend is stupid right now because most, if not all, boys my age and slightly older/younger are stupid
9. I've finally completed a song
10. I've written a, quote "best-selling novel" unquote
11. I'm learning russian
12. I've finally found a hobby (and that's basically researching on everything Romanov)
13. I've fianlly discovered that life is what you make it to be and high school can be two things: either hell on earth or the best days of your life